Ten weeks and two days

Mercy, dear readers. Dating is labor-intensive! So is parenting. And work. And home keeping. And blogging. And, well, you get the idea.

When we last discussed my love life, I was again single after a brief but lovely foray into the dating world. It was exciting and fun until it was painful and awful, and I spent several days trying to decide whether it was worth the potential cost: my life is full and beautiful already, as a single woman: I have a daughter, delightful friends and family, a job I usually love….in short, a good life. Why risk mucking it up again, risk having my heart broken, when I already had so much to enjoy?

To answer that, I have to tell you more of the story. I recounted my most memorable OKCupid encounters in my story about Dan, but I left out an important one. The only other fella who appeared to have read my actual profile first wrote to me a few days after Dan did: he was funny, and kind, and we exchanged a couple of messages before Dan and I decided to date exclusively. I logged in to OKCupid to deactivate my profile, actually, to find another message from this fella (his name is Richard, so I don’t have to keep saying “this fella”). I hadn’t responded to his earlier message, and he was afraid he’d offended me or misstepped in some way. I assured him that was not that case, and wrote “I think you’re charming and funny, but I’m not looking to date anyone right now. Best of luck.” Richard graciously responded, saying “Best of luck to you, too. I find that the universe brings us what we need when we need it.”

I smiled at the sentiment, clicked “deactivate,” and went on to have a four week whirlwind of romance and heartbreak. Y’all remember that part, I hope.

Anyway, after the (considerable) sting of heartbreak wore off, I had to contemplate a lot of things. Dating had been fun, but disruptive. And the cost was very dear. Maybe a quiet, single life raising V and growing peonies was a better fit for me, after all.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about Richard. “The universe brings us what we need when we need it.” Maybe, I thought, I should try again. Just one more time. So on 10 March, I reactivated OKCupid, and wrote to Richard, saying “The universe has brought me back here. How’re you?”

We wrote and then texted each other pretty much nonstop for three days. On Tuesday, 14 March, we had our first date. He is funny, kind, and smart. He owns his own business. He met V on 10 April, and the three of us have gone to the movies, played several different games, and even traveled to Sioux Falls for a weekend.

To be honest, we’re pretty adorable. And though I still don’t know about “happily ever after,” I definitely know that the universe has brought me exactly who I needed.